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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

When the long night comes...

As many of you know, this has been a very long and trying many months for Ranger and I.  For those of you who do not know, almost 3 years ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer.  Something that was so very preventable - so easily detected early on - was left untreated and misdiagnosed until there was nothing but maintenance and palliative care.  Still, my dad fought a long, hard battle and bravely confronted his own "long night" on November 7, 2010. 

I'm telling you all this now to explain where Ranger and I have been.  We're still here.  We're still a team.  We're still training together and working together.  Even with my family around me, he was my rock.  Most of my extended family had no comprehension of what Ranger meant to me - or how we worked together.  They saw him as 'another dog' - a misconception that they probably still hold and I dont care. 

Yes, I talk to Ranger just as if he was a human partner next to me, helping me make it through each of my days - helping me through all of my struggles which have gotten better and worse, up and down, as the stress and grief have taken their tolls on my life.  I tell him that he's loved.  That's he's doing a great job.  That he's the best thing in my world when he's *at* my side - which is most of the time.

Do we still have tasks and training to work on?  Yes.  Do we have new challenges and hurdles to over come, things to re-train and re-focus on now we have new routines and new lives?  Yes.    Are we going to do those things?  Absolutely.

The last few months have proven to me that:
1.  Regardless of what the clinical tests said 4 years ago (when I had insurance to cover the testing), I agree with my neurologist.  I *do* have something that is an almost identical mimic to (if not actually diagnosable) relapsing/remitting MS.  It flares up when I'm under a lot of stress, when I cant sleep enough... it flares often - and then sometimes it goes away for weeks or months at a time.  But, even during those times, I still have the migraines, the silent seizures, the vertigo attacks.   Even during the remissions, I still need Ranger.

2.  My choice to train Ranger as a service dog for me was absolutely the right decision - physically and psychologically - he's been a saving grace for me throughout my father's illness and in all the days since. 

3.  There's plenty more things that we can - and will - train him to do pre-emptively - and lots of things that I now see as beneficial skills that I didnt before that we're going to be working on in the weeks to come.

You'll likely see more Ranger-training-specific posts on here and less 'general dog training' type things in the coming weeks/months as we slip into spring/summer and do more task-specific training.   I hope you will all keep reading and following us on our journey. 

Jessica and Ranger
Lunar K9s Service Dogs Team #2

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