MRIs Oh My!

Monday I went for another MRI of my brain (and brain stem) to check for lesions. Since I went alone, Ranger was, of course, unable to go with me. It was one of the hardest days I've had in a long time. Besides being anxious and nervous (of course) about the procedure (not that I havent had them done twice before, but I was still a nervous mess over it!) I was also having attacks of vertigo, ear "ringing" (if you've had it you know its not always 'ringing' but most of the time its more like 'buzzing' - which I've had since I was very very little - who knew!), and loss of grip strength. Let me point out, vertigo while inside an MRI machine, where you're unable to move to (what feels like) a more 'stable' position is a horribly disconcerting sensation! Thankfully, when they had to inject the contrast, I was able to tell the tech that was doing the procedure 'having vertigo...' - and they were kind enough to move the table *slowly*, have someone else on standby to help me up, and take their time getting me back to the changing area to re-dress.

I'm still waiting on the official results.

The worse my symptoms get, the harder and harder it is to deal with every-day things. Carrying my mug last night and having it fall right from my hand. Having to stop mid-way up the stairs because they're starting to tilt on me. The constant, and distracting, ear ringing and migraine - they become more than a distraction - they become frustrating and tiresome. There are so many days when I feel like 'why bother' getting out of bed - when your day starts with an onslaught of sensory overload, you cant comprehend how you'll make it through the next hour without wanting to scream. That's how my day was on Monday. That's how it was Tuesday. That's how its been today.

I have people tell me all the time - why not just *stop* - take a nap. Rest. Take medicine and sleep off the worst of it. I could - but if I do, I'd be in bed most days for most *of* the day. I cant/wont do that. I cant be that person.

How does Ranger help me? First and foremost, he makes it easier for me to stand safely - even if there's nothing to grab for when I start to feel dizzy, he's right there to press against my leg and help steady me. He braces for me when I get up from a chair or off the floor. He lays against me in bed and presses on my back to help ease the constant pain I have no matter what position I'm in.

Ranger also gives me a reason to get out of bed. He has to go out. He has to eat. He has to... the list goes on and on. If I dont do it, who will? It has to get done. He heards me to a chair when I'm being stubborn and ignoring signs of impending attack because I'm "independant" and hate losing any of that.

He not only anticipates my anxiety attacks, but he redirects me during them. He makes me focus on him and, if necessary, will move me out of a stressful situation or crowd.

Ranger makes my flareups, which are quickly becoming less and less tolerable on a daily basis, much more manageable. He keeps me independant and focused on life ahead instead of looking at what I can't do at that very moment. Even when I'm driving or in a strange place, I'm never *alone* because he's with me.

Jessica and Ranger

Lunar K9s Service Dog Team